Some days are better that others, you would think that today being Friday and all it would be a good day. Arrived at the office at 7:25 after dropping my daughter off at school. So far so good, no reckless drivers pissed me off on the way, made my way to the first floor without slipping on the polished wooden floors and my boss wasn’t in yet. Switched on my computer and went to grab my coffee before settling down and getting my work done. Coffee is ready so all I have to do is get started, I sit down, my fingers are now on automatic pilot and go directly to the ctrl alt delete and…… nothing??!!
I take a few sips of coffee and start again, after a few tries I’m about to bang my head on the keyboard, take a deep breath and the damn thing decides to finally humour me and starts up, but I can’t find my e-mail. There are icons missing and I desperately start trying everything I know to get things the way they were yesterday before I went home. For those who don’t suffer (or do) these kind of problems, enjoy the detailed account of my adventure with my computer first thing this morning… and it’s not even Friday the 13th.
– Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
– Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
– Press any key except…no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!
– Close your eyes and press escape three times.
– Windows message, “Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)”
– COFFEE.SYS missing…Insert cup in cup holder and press any key.
– File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
– Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
– Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
– Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
– WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)
– User Error: Replace user
Frustration has now taken over every cell of my body, heaving a sigh I admit defeat and call my colleague from IT, somebody else answers the phone only to tell me he’s not in yet, “What do you mean not in?!!” By now I’m shouting and scaring the poor sod on the other end of the line half to death. Eventually the said colleague, the very same one that only two weeks ago had to remind me how to switch my iPhone off (not even going there) walks into my office fresh as a breeze with his own cup of coffee and leans over my computer and says “Oh it’s nothing. It’s just a BBC thing, will have it sorted out in a minute.” Utterly confused I ask ” What do you mean BBC?” Noticing my utter perplexity he smiles and clarifies my confusion, “Oh you know, ‘born before computers’, older people tend to have these problems”
I look at his coffee and I’m tempted, oh so tempted to poison his coffee, but that’s a crime right? Nobody destroys a good cup of coffee. So I sigh and try the ctrl alt delete again… it works! I might start lobbying to get macs installed in the office, we use Apples at home and I don’t have any BBC issues with it.
Happy Friday people!